


The memories the waves carry

by Sataninavneck



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, Beach House, Character Death, Childhood Memories, Family Loss, Happy Bucky Barnes, Happy Tony Stark, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Memories, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Bucky Barnes, Parent Tony Stark, Parenthood, Sad, Sex, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark-centric, Virgin Tony Stark, Virgin bucky barnes, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sataninavneck/pseuds/Sataninavneck
Summary: Maria Stark buys a house on Lewes Beach in Delaware, where her and Tony spend sixs months of the year while Howard focuses on his work in New York. There, he has an eventful life, which he recaps.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 88





	The memories the waves carry

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so this is the first thing I've written in a while. I had a huge author's block, which is keeping me from finally finishing my fanfic "If hate is scary, love is scarier", but hopefully after this and after another fic I've been working on, I can finish that book and cross it off my list. 
> 
> This story came to me while listening to he song riptide, and I did think about how the entire fanfic would be, but at the las second I decided to change it up completely.  
> This is nothing like what I've written before but I still feel proud of how it truned out. 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated (especially comments, I like to hear what you think about my work and the suggestions you have.) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it :)

Tony got out of the car when Happy opened the door. He carefully picked the fragile porcelain container and hugged it to his chest and discarded his shoes.

He walked past the house where he used to spend his summers with his Mama and his heart clenched. His entire chest hurt as sadness overtook him and he fought back tears, a knot forming in his throat. That was the house that brought him so much happiness and joy. 

He'd go in and greet the staff later. 

He continued walking around the house. His left arm was hugging the fragile urn while his right hand caressed the porch's railing, careful not to get any splinters on his fingers. 

He continued walking down the beach, his feet sinking into the sand, feeling every particle softly caress his skin. It was cool and soft and clean and relaxing. 

The smell of salty ocean water hit his nose and his head started spinning with memories. He closed his eyes and continued walking, letting the sound of the waves guide him towards the water. 

His feet stepped on wet sand and they were swallowed by it. It was cold, but not unpleasant. Occasionally, a wave would wash over his feet, wetting the sand even more, causing it to swallow his feet further. 

He didn't care. He took in a deep breath, feeling his old lungs fill with fresh, unpolluted air. He wasn't as young anymore. His body hurt and his age weighted over him. Some of his body parts didn't work as well as they used to, but his memory stayed intact. 

A hand squeezed his shoulder and he took in a deep breath. Bucky. And then those memories flooded his head again. 

Tony was too smart for a seven year old. He knew his father didn't want him around, so his Mama made a deal: she'd get a summer home at the beach and they'd spend there half spring, the entire summer and half autumn so Howard could work on his projects and fuck his bitches in peace. 

Tony really was excited, though. He didn't feel sad about the fact that his father didn't want him around. It could be worse. At least he had his Mama. 

When they first walked into the house, it had nothing to do with their main house. It was like nothing they were used to. The decoration was humble and homey, not like the pricey vintage decoration back at home, where he couldn't even sit on the couch for way too long because he could ruin it. 

The floors were wooden, not like the cold marble floors in his home. The walls were a beautiful sky blue color and instead of the boring portraits of people he didn't know and paintings of flowers and fruits, hang paintings of the sea and the horizon and the sunset on the beach. 

Tony had no interest in investigating the house any further, instead, he ran outside and took his shirt off immediately before diving into the water head first. 

The water was freezing but he soon got used to it. He played for what seemed to be an eternity, diving and swimming and twirling before he finally decided to get out. 

It was still too early in the spring for it to be hot outside and the wind was blowing. Tony, wet from head to toes, regretted ever going into the water as he started shivering from the cold wind against his fragile, wet skin. He saw his shirt discarded a few steps away from him and he thanked the gods before running to pick it up off the sand and wrapped it around his shoulders. Still nothing. The cotton shirt was soaking up the water from his skin, making him feel more cold and uncomfortable. 

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, but it was way too small to be his Mama's hand. He turned around and there was a boy standing there smiling at him and holding a big fluffy towel. Tony's eyes filled with tears of gratitude and relief as he turned around and let the other boy wrap him in the towel. 

"Hi, my mom says not to talk to strangers or take anything from them, but you won't hurt me, right?" Tony asked innocently. 

The boy shook his head. "I only wanted to protect you from the cold. I would never hurt you. Besides, I’m only seven years old so I couldn’t do much." The boy shrugged.

Tony smiled and gave the boy a hug, careful not to get him wet. 

"Anthony Edward Stark!" Tony flinched away at the angry sound of his Mama's voice. "Get inside the house, now!" Without thinking twice, Tony started running towards the house to reunite with his worried mother. 

"I'm Bucky, by the way!" The kid yelled. "I live next door!" 

Tony stopped in his tracks and turned around to offer Bucky another smile. "I'm Tony! Nice to meet you!" He said before running inside of the house, dodging his mom and going into his room to take off the wet clothes. 

That night, Mama scolded Tony and told him how it was wrong to run off without saying anything. She never said anything about it being wrong for him to speak to Bucky. Later in his life he'd learn that his mother was happy that his son had at least made a friend since he didn't have any. 

The next time he saw Bucky, he was actually knocking on Tony's door asking him of he could return him his towel because he needed it. Tony nodded and invited the boy in and led him to his bedroom (Mama would also scold him for inviting friends in his house without her permission later that day). 

Bucky was immediately impressed by the amount of toys Tony had and when Tony saw that Bucky was looking too long at one toy, he got up, took it off the shelf and gave it to him. 

Bucky smiled widely and hugged Tony, whispering a thank you.

Ever since then, they were inseparable. The would play all day every day, spend every single second of the day together and even sleep over each other's house. That summer, Bucky became a huge part of Tony's life.

They told each other their secrets. Tony found out that Bucky's father was dead and that his mom had to look after him and his little sister and that he preferred having his mom spend the money of his toys on her, that's why he didn't have any. They weren't as rich as Tony and his parents, so sometimes his mom skipped meals so him and his sister could eat and she'd cry when Bucky offered her his food because she also had to eat. 

By the time Bucky finished talking, he was crying. He couldn't believe that his only friend and his family had to skip meals and buy clothes once every year so they could make ends meet. That night, Tony had let that information slip while having dinner with his Mama and next thing he knew, Maria had subtly offered Freddie to take care of the house and clean it once every month in their absence. 

Once they grew up, Bucky had told him that Maria was paying his mom a crazy amount of money for keeping an eye on the house and that the extra money had really helped their family a lot. Tony didn't plan on telling Bucky he was involved in that. He didn't have to. Bucky was smart and he knew that Tony was the one who told Maria about their situation. Bucky never said anything, he just hugged Tony and let that sign of affection speak for him.

After that first summer ended, Mama and Freddie Barnes would help their sons write letters and send them to each other. Every Friday, Tony waited for the mail impatiently, wanting to know how Bucky was doing, and on every Sunday, their moms would let them talk on the phone for an hour. 

Over the next summers, Tony's group of friends got bigger. First they met Steve, who immediately became good friends with Bucky. But Tony wasn't jealous. He knew Bucky loved him more, and after that they befriended a new girl, whose name was Natasha.

Over the winter, Tony met two new kids at school, Virginia, who he decided to nickname Pepper because of her red hair, and Rhodey. They became his best friends in New York, but Bucky was his forever best friend. No one could replace him. 

He had his first kiss the 7th summer at the beach house. Bucky and him were watching a romantic movie in Tony's room while Maria and Freddie were out shopping. Bucky paused the movie and scoffed as he laid on his back. "Why are people so obsessed with kissing?" 

"I don't know." Tony answered. "Maybe it feels good?" He guessed. The bed shifted next to him and he looked up to see Bucky on his knees looking down at him. "What?" 

"Wanna try?" Bucky asked with a mischievous grin, the same one he had whenever he was thinking of doing something that would get them both grounded. 

Tony got on his knees and looked Bucky with a mischievous grin of his own. "Sure." He shrugged. 

They both started to lean in and net halfway. It was a quick peck that felt like nothing. "Hm. This doesn't feel like anything." Tony voiced his thoughts and was shoved by Bucky, who was mock offended. 

"I'll kiss you so good you won't ever forget it in your life." Bucky said and before he could realize, Bucky was bracing himself with his elbows on each side of Tony's head, his body between Tony's legs and his chest pressed to his chest, and looked as Bucky leaned down and kissed him again, this time longer. 

Tony closed his eyes and slightly parted his lips and their mouths slotted together. Bucky began kissing him slowly and Tony kissed back. His arms wrapped around the other boy's back and hugged him close as their mouths worked together in perfect harmony. 

By the time Bucky pulled away, Tony was panting, his heart was pounding and his dick, for the first time in his life, was hard and straining in his denim shorts. He looked at Bucky and saw in his eyes a spark and in his pants a bulge. After staring at each other for a while, they both started laughing. 

Despite both of them being fourteen and hormonal, they weren't interested in crossing the sex line. They would, however, sneak kisses whenever they were alone or far away from their mothers' eyes to see. 

Tony remembered that day of May when he turned 18. Freddie and Maria were at a meeting for the Maria Carbonell foundation. Maria and Freddie had become such good friends, that they even started a business together, a small coffee shop where people could buy, rent or exchange books and it allowed animals inside. After that, when Maria started her foundation, she had asked Freddie to be part of it and she had accepted happily. 

Bucky and Tony were alone in Tony's room, playing board games to kill the hours until the birthday party. Tony was nervous because that was going to be his first real birthday with all of his friends. He was excited, but he got up and started rambling and pacing back and forward anxiously. 

Bucky ended up pulling Tony to the bed and kissing him breathless. They had never done anything sexual. Not even touched each other. The contact of their lips was enough. Whenever he told Pepper or Rhodey that he was saving himself for the right person, they would laugh and tell Tony to open his eyes because Bucky was the right person. Tony refused to believe it, though. Bucky was his forever best friend. 

But then Bucky kissed him for the first time that year and his entire body caught on fire. He was trapped under the other man with his hands in his hair. Bucky was softly caressing Tony's side and the feeling of his hand running up and down Tony's dressed body drove him crazy, but it wasn't enough. Tony took a risk and broke the kiss to pull his shirt off. 

Bucky looked down at him in confusion. "Touch me." Tony whispered. 

Bucky's hand trembled as he placed his hand on Tony's bare chest and the latter felt goosebumps raise on his skin and the simple contact sending signals all over his body. His nipples were the first one to respond, getting hard and sensitive. Bucky looked at them and nervously tipped his head down to capture one of his nipples in his hot mouth, lick it and then pull away to blow air on it. 

Tony shuddered and pulled Bucky back down to kiss him with passion. His fingers danced at the hem of the other man's shirt and his hands found their way under it. 

Bucky shivered as Tony's fingers gently caressed up and down his back and soon he could feel Bucky's cock harden. 

Tony yanked the shirt off and explored Bucky's back and torso and arms with his hands while kissing him, and after a while, they slowly began to grind against each other. 

Soon, they were both sitting in bed in only their boxers. Bucky made the first move to touch his cock and Tony jumped at the sensation. He had touched himself before, but he had never had anyone else touch him. And there he was, his best friend forever palming him through his boxers and kissing his neck. 

Tony placed his hand on Bucky's thighs and started caressing him, and after a moment, he snaked his hand up the leg of Bucky's underwear and wrapped a hand around his cock. 

Bucky buried his face in Tony's neck and let out a whimper. Tony smiled and softly stroked up and ran his thumb over the tip, earning another whimper. 

"Have you ever done it before?" Tony asked. 

Bucky shook his head. "No, I'm a virgin. What about you?" He asked. 

"I'm also a virgin." He answered softly. 

Bucky pulled away to look Tony in the eyes. "Do you want to do it?" He asked in a whisper. 

Tony didn't even think about it. He nodded and went back to kissing Bucky. After a while, Bucky pulled away. "I want to do something I saw in an adult movie. Lay down." 

Tony nodded and laid down on his back. Bucky kissed down his chest, hips, thighs, and legs, and then back up, but instead of continuing to the chest, Bucky took Tony's cock in his mouth without a previous warning and Tony all but screamed at the feeling. Bucky started licking and sucking and stroking and as the pleasure was building inside of him, Bucky pulled away and kissed him.

Tony should have been disgusted. After all, Bucky was sucking the same thing he used to pee with, but there was something hot and obscene about that. Tony tried doing the same, but after bobbing his head twice, his gag reflex started acting up so he had to stop. 

Tony laid on his back again and looked at Bucky in the eyes. "Will you make love to me yet, or do I have to wait till I turn 60?" He asked. 

"I will. And with a little bit of luck, I will make love to you when you turn 60 as well." He said and kissed him before Tony could say anything else. 

It took them a while to figure out that it wasn't enough to only use slick and that Bucky had to prep Tony before trying to push his cock inside, but after they were done with the prepping, Bucky slid into Tony easier than without prep (and it hurt much less). 

He still remembered how good that felt, that first thrust inside, the stretch of Bucky connecting with him, them becoming one. He remembered how intimate it felt, remembered feeling alive and loved and closer to Bucky than ever. 

After both of them had orgasmd, Tony was laying on Bucky's bare chest while Bucky caressed his back. 

The door swinging wide open startled him, and when he got up, totally naked, with Bucky's cum dripping down his thigh and his own drying on his chest, he saw Howard standing there, petrified. His face twisted into something Tony had never seen, and after kicking Bucky out, Howard took his belt off and started hitting Tony. 

After Howard was done hitting him and insulting him and saying he had expected more of his son, he left the room banging the door so hard that instead of staying closed, it aggressively swung back open, hitting the wall behind it with the knob and leaving a dent in it. 

Tony had no idea how long he sat in the corner, humiliated, crying and hating Howard for totally screwing up the best moment of his life until Maria found him. She let out a horrified gasp and Tony told her everything that happened, how he and Bucky had made love for the first time, how after that he was so happy and laying in his arms and how after that Howard walked in and saw them and hit him. 

Maria was horrified. She helped Tony up and led him to the shower. He felt weak so Maria got into the shower with him, fully dressed and helped him clean up, and she wouldn't stop repeating "I'm sorry, my baby boy. I'm so sorry your father was so horrible. I'm sorry that he chose to care that it was your birthday today. I love you, no matter who you decide to sleep with or love." 

Maria's words made Tony break down and before he could catch himself, he was on his knees, hugging his mom's legs and crying like he hadn't cried in years. Maria also knelt and hugged her son and let him cry in his arms. 

After showering, Maria changed clothes and came back with an ointment to rub it on Tony's skin. "Honey, I know this is horrible and traumatic, but don't let your father take that away from you. Don't let him take anything away from you." Tony looked at his mother and smiled. That woman was a saint. 

He hugged her again and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, mommy." He whispered. 

While Tony was getting dressed, he could hear Maria and Howard yelling at each other. 

"Out!" Maria yelled. 

Howard said something he didn't understand and he heard the front door close. He went downstairs and looked at his mom. Maria was sitting on the couch and blowing balloons. 

"Mama?" 

"It's clear, honey." She said and Tony went downstairs. "Your dad and I are getting a divorce." She said. "And you should sue him." She said. 

"Sue the great Howard Stark? You must be high on helium." He said. Maria chuckled and pulled his head down to kiss his forehead. 

Tony listened to his mother and didn't let Howard take anything away from him. He had the party, kissed Bucky very publicly, opened presents, became Bucky's boyfriend and received the news Howard had died in a car accident. 

Taking the reins of Stark Industries was a difficult job, but thankfully he had the people he loved by his side helping. Bucky hadn't hesitated when Tony asked him to come to New York with him. He had been more than happy to be with his boyfriend. 

On Christmas day the same year they first made love, Bucky told Tony for the first time that he loved him. After crying for a while, he said it back. It felt so new over the few first months, and even though he had gotten used to hearing those words over the years, his heart still jumped whenever he heard the man whisper them. 

Bucky proposed to him in May, 1985, when he turned 25. It was right after making love, a tradition they had followed no matter what, even the day they had to spend the night at the hospital because Bucky had just had a knee surgery. The face of the nurse when she caught Tony riding Bucky was priceless and it was all over the news.It was their sexversary, after all, and Tony couldn't miss having Bucky inside him, even if that meant a scandal and a slight drop in the stocks.

That day, though, Bucky had been gentle and loving and romantic and when he finished, he stretched his arm, opened a drawer and pulled out the ring. 

He still remembered his heart pounding like crazy and how he couldn't stop crying, not even to say yes. They had spent the whole day after making love and then, as the guests, their closest friends were all together, Tony announced the engagement. 

They couldn't legally get married, so they had a ceremony to exchange vows that same summer. Steve was the one to officiate it. After that, they always referred to each other as husband. 

Soon after that, they had their first child. Pepper was more than happy to donate eggs and be the surrogate. The first kid was with Tony's sperm. She was the spitting image of him, except for the red hair he had inherited from Pepper. They named her Rose. Of course everybody was talking about them, criticising the gay men that just had a daughter, but Bucky and him were happy, they lived in their own bubble, and they didn't let anyone burst it. 

Despite the happiness of the birth of their first daughter, it was a sad year. Steve's mother had caught pneumonia, and after fighting it for a couple of weeks, she sadly passed. They left Pepper running SI as they moved to Delaware in the winter to be there for Steve. 

That sadness didn't last for long, as him and his wife Natasha were blessed with a child of their own, which they named James Anthony Rogers, after his two best friends, his two brothers. 

Three years after Rose was born, Pepper gave them the news that she was pregnant again. The Stark-Barnes family grew as they welcomed two beautiful girls to their lives, Jasmine and Sarah, the latter in honor of Steve's mom. 

Their marriage was strong. They loved each other and they were never unfaithful. They were their one and onlies and they weren’t interested in being with other people. But every road had a bump in it. 

They have had fights, but, the first major fight they had was in 1999. The stress of the company plus Tony's obsession with work and lack of sleep caused him to have a heart attack in his lab. Rose was there and she immediately started compressions. He was still alive thanks to his daughter, but she was traumatized. She thought she'd see her dad die and she felt helpless. 

After recovering, Bucky all but dragged Tony to Delaware and held him captive there. He was worried that if he kept stressing and not sleeping, the same thing would happen again and it could kill him. 

Tony had argued that he was okay, that he could take care of himself and his family while also taking care of the company, but Bucky still insisted that he should at least try to slow down. 

One day Rose tried talking Tony into putting down his laptop and spending some time with her and her sisters, but Tony was stressed and snapped at his daughter. Bucky walked in time to hear Tony yelling at her for interrupting him. 

His husband looked at him with a look he had never seen on his beautiful face: disgust. All it took for him to stop working were the words “You’re starting to turn into your father” leaving his mouth.

After that, the only thing Tony ever used the computer for was to send emails to Pepper, Rhodey and Happy to see how they were doing.

In 2001, he officially named Pepper as the new CEO of Stark Industries and they moved indefinitely to Delaware. 

In 2005, they buried Maria. Tony got very depressed after he lost his mother. For an entire year, he watched as he sucked the life out of Bucky because of his behaviour. He didn’t make it easy for Bucky, who only wanted to help. He didn't want to go out, he barely slept or ate, and more often than he would have liked, he found himself blacking out on the couch with a bottle of bourbon in his hand. But Bucky stood by him. He dealt with Tony, he did everything in his hands to make Tony happy, to ease his pain. 

Tony was ready to give up, but Bucky was giving him strength. He started going to a therapist, he took pills and started taking care of himself. Slowly, he started going back to the man he was and started enjoying the little things again. His mom wouldn’t have liked to see him like that, and he also hated seeing his husband and daughters so worried all the time.

2010 was the year they had their first grandchild. Rose had married a boy from town, Peter Parker, and they had a baby boy. Tony realized that taking care of a grandchild was much easier than taking care of a kid of your own. While you had to take care of your kid and also raise and educate it, having a grandchild was as simple as looking after it for a few hours and giving it back to his mother at the end of the day. 

Bucky adored the boy. He spent all day playing with him and spoiling him and teaching him Romanian, just like he had done with their daughters. It was something his grandparents did when his mom was born, and his mom was the one to teach Bucky. Tony was pretty sure that was going to be a family tradition.

When he thought about Freddie, his heart clenched. She got to see her great grandchildren and he was happy that she did. She also kept Maria's legacy alive with the Maria Carbonell foundation and the little coffee shop. But even if those things were alive, his Moma wasn’t.

Tony tried to be strong, but he couldn't stop himself from crying when he remembered that day his mom had held him in the shower while he cried after Howard had beaten him up with his belt. He still had scars from that day, that's how deep that leather cut. 

Bucky noticed Tony crying and put down the child who had fallen asleep in his arms to go see if Tony was okay. 

"Honey, please, I don't want to make you sad. I'm okay. I promise." Tony said as Bucky crouched down in front of him.

Bucky smiled sadly and grabbed Tony's hand. "Hey, it's okay." He said and kissed his hand. "You are allowed to cry and let yourself be sad. It's okay, baby." Bucky stood up and pulled Tony's head to his stomach and started caressing his almost completely gray hair. 

Tony looked up with red rimmed eyes and met Bucky's. "How do you do it?" 

"Do what?" Bucky asked. 

"Be so strong? Deal with me? I would've dumped me if I were you and left with the kids." He said. 

Bucky's expression dropped. "Tony, we promised, through sickness and through health. What type of person would it make me if I just said fuck it and left you? Would that even be love?" He asked. 

Tony sniffled and wiped his tears. He shook his head, ashamed of what he had just said. Bucky sat on Tony's lap and wrapped his arms around Tony's neck. "As long as I'm alive, I will always be with you. Do you remember, that I promised that I only want to protect you and never wanna hurt you?" 

Tony sniffled again and nodded. 

"Do I ever break my promises?" Bucky asked. 

"Well I mean, you did promise Jasmine that Santa would bring her a unicorn…" Tony was cut by a playful smack. "You never break your promises, honey." 

Bucky didn't say anything, he just tipped his head down and kissed Tony. 

By 2015, they were blessed with two more grandchildren and a third one on the way. Bucky and Tony were on their way to go visit Sarah when they heard the news on the radio. Gay marriage was finally legal in all 50 states. 

Tony pulled over on the side of the road as he covered his eyes and cried. Him and Bucky had exchanged engagement rings and had a wedding band after they exchanged vows, but hearing it, hearing that their love was finally legal, that the law finally approved for two people of the same sex to get married made him cry out of happiness. And sadness. Because his Mama couldn't walk him down the aisle again, but this time for real. 

They got married in July at the same spot and on the same day they had their first ceremony. Bucky was already his 30 years ago, with the only difference that now, their love wasn't illegal.

They had four and a half amazing years of marriage, filled with love and joy and a house full of kids. Everything seemed to be going right until the news of Bucky's lung cancer destroyed that happiness. Tony's heart sunk with the news. He desperately wanted that to be a lie. He wanted to wake up and realize it was a bad dream.

But it wasn't. 

They moved to New York where they treated him, but the diagnosis was terminal. Bucky didn't want to stay there. He wanted to die in Delaware. In that house on the beach where he had a happy life. Tony couldn't take that away from him. 

He gathered all of his strength and had the house accommodated with a hospital bed, nurses and medical equipment. Their daughters and grandchildren moved into their grandma Freddie's house to be near him 24/7. The girls desperately tried to make Tony get some rest, but he couldn't leave his husband. Not when he had been there for him the whole time with his heart attack and depression. His house didn't feel like his home anymore with all of the medical staff there, but he held on. 

He hated the world. It was unfair. Bucky was the healthiest man he knew. He never smoked, he always ate his veggies and exercised every fucking day. Why was this happening to him? It was unfair. 

On one of his last days, Bucky had some strength to talk. 

"I missed your voice." Tony said. 

Bucky smiled weakly at him. "Glad to hear that." He managed. 

"Baby, I don't wanna lose you." Tony said, finally breaking down. 

Bucky's lip quivered but even in his fucking deathbed he stayed strong and tugged at Tony's hand so he'd curl into bed with him. 

"I'm not afraid to die." He said between coughs and ragged breaths. "I had a wonderful life with you. And I'm happy we lived it to the fullest." He said and started coughing. After a while, he regained strength. "Stay strong, baby. I will always be here to protect you, even if you don't see me." He said in a whisper. 

Tony started shaking his head and crying. Bucky shushed him and pulled him to his chest. "Please baby, don't cry for me. When I die, throw my ashes into the sea and then have a party to celebrate my life." Bucky said. 

Tony nodded. "I promise, baby." He said and wiped away his tears. 

"I promised you 42 years ago I'd make love to you when you're 60." Bucky chuckled. 

Tony laughed as well but shook his head. "You are too weak." Tony said. "You can barely breathe, and no offense, but seeing you on your deathbed is a bit of a turnoff." 

Bucky took a notebook from the nightstand and a pen. "Don't look." He said and started writing something. Either he was too weak to write, or he was writing his will. He handed him the notebook. "Don't read it until your birthday." He said. 

Tony nodded. "I promise." 

"Happy birthday in advance. I love you." Bucky said and then he finally let out tears fall from his eyes as he pulled Tony down for a kiss, as passionate as a man with difficulties breathing could make it. 

The last day of Bucky's life, he had asked to raise the bed so he could see the sea from his window. Tony, Freddie and their daughters were in the room with him. Tony was on the bed, curled up to Bucky's side, and the kids and Freddie were all sitting next to him, taking turns holding Bucky's hand. 

Tony heard as the beeps from the heart monitor slowed down and his breathing was more difficult. Each of the girls took turns saying "I love you Daddy" and kissing his forehead. Freddie also let out a Broken I love you and Tony nuzzled Bucky's neck, repeatedly saying I love you. 

When the monitor flatlined and Bucky's chest stop raising and falling, Rose turned off the sound of the monitor and they all sat around Bucky, crying in silence. 

His wake and the cremation, taking the urn, driving to the house. Everything was on autopilot. A part of Tony died with Bucky. 

When he felt the hand on his shoulder, he remembered the first time he had ever met Bucky. That time almost 53 years ago. He allowed himself to cry for a bit as Freddie held him, then, he took off the cap of the urn. 

"I can't wait to see you in the afterlife and spend eternity with you. Thank you for making me the happiest man on the world and being my forever best friend. I love you." He said and with a shaky hand, he took a fistful of Bucky's ashes and slowly let them slip out of his hand and into the sea. 

Freddie, the girls and Steve did the same, and then Tony slowly started pouring the rest into the ocean, watching as the waves slowly took his husband with them to the depth of the sea, where he could be free. Before he left, he pulled out of the pocket of his suit a little boat. The boat Tony had given Bucky when he first went into his room, and put it on the water. 

Steve and Pepper wrapped their arms around Tony, who was fighting the tears threatening to escape from his eyes, and the three of them watched as the little boat sailed away.

Tony walked into the house, the urn still clutched against his chest but this time empty. He left it where he could see it and smiled as his friends walked in. They all took off their jackets and Tony pressed play on the music system. 

They all danced and laughed and had a round of toasts in Bucky's name and took turns telling funny stories about him. 

After that, his kids came from the kitchen singing happy birthday, carrying a cake with two candles, a six and a zero. 

"Dad chose it, don't blame us." Said Rose as she kissed Tony's cheek. 

Tony looked down at the cake. It had a huge picture of them when they were in their twenties, sharing a kiss on the beach with the sunset behind them. It read 

"Happy 60th birthday and sexversary, hot thing. Too sad I won't be there when you're 69 ;) " 

Tony laughed through his tears and blew the candle. "He quite literally wanted to leave this world with a bang." He said as he recalled the sex proposition. 

After everyone was gone, Tony got upstairs and took out the notebook. 

"My dearest Tony, there are so many things I wanted to say, but I was too weak to speak. Hopefully I'll be able to tell you in person one day when we meet again. For now, know that you were the best husband anyone could have ever asked for and an amazing father. I love you and happy birthday. Now, I know I'm not there for our sexversary, but in case you wanna go solo, know I'm watching. If not, well, my loss. ;);)" 

Tony chuckled and looked outside the window into the sky. "I love you, James Buchanan Barnes-Stark.You always knew how to lighten the mood in the worst moments of my life." He said and went to sleep, with a huge smile and strength to keep fighting a bit longer, just for their kids. Because as long as he was alive, his forever best friend was alive too, in his memory and his heart.


End file.
